This week I will share an excerpt that I enjoyed reading from Jordan Peterson on the topic of relationship. We all have a deep need for relationship, it is inherent in our nature. As future naturopathic doctors, it is essential that we recognize this as a critical component in the treatment of our patients.

What I find most interesting is the final two sentences. Both concepts are critical skills to develop in life, first to establish one’s own mental health, and then eventually for the health of their relationships. Happy reading!

“You want to be in a relationship with someone you can spar with, partly because you have hard problems to solve. If the person you are with is not willing to put forward their opinion, then you only have half the cognitive power that you would otherwise have. The hope is that you find someone who is interestingly different from you, but not so different that you cannot communicate. Hopefully, they have the ability and will to express their opinion because that keeps your interest heightened.

There must be that tension in a relationship. People think they want to get along perfectly with their partner — but you probably don’t really want that. You would get bored, and then you would go looking for trouble. So, you want a little bit of trouble in the relationship, a little bit of mystery and combativeness.

You want to be able to exchange opinions forthrightly and trust each other. For better and for worse, truths can be harsh, but you must wholeheartedly tell each other the truth. You want someone with whom you can negotiate and build a view of the future. It is challenging to negotiate, because the person has to tell you what they think. They have to know what they want (or figure it out), and they have to tell you what they want. They have to be satisfied when they get what they want, which is also difficult to manage. And you must continually update that because life goes through different stages.”

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