Things Are Moving Forward

"I should be asleep." This is what I say to myself at hours like this -- around O-dark-thirty when I'm still up working on something. "I should be sawing logs or whatever people are supposed to be doing at this hour... instead I'm here."

This last week has been a week for the record. I finished my master's degree. I don't know how I did it -- but I did it. I honestly don't know how I worked, had any part in my kids' lives, was full-time here at National, and full-time at Western States. But I did. And now it's over. I haven't quite come down from it all just yet -- but the moment I realized I didn't have anything left to do, my head kind of dropped. While most people would be ecstatic, I was sullen. What do I do now? Now, granted -- I have absolutely no shortage of things to do, read, study, learn, attend, aspire to, whatever. But no one is making me -- but me.

On Friday of last week, I also sent in my paperwork for my Oregon license. And all last week, when I wasn't studying for or taking master's finals, I was working on the bridge course to be able to sit for the licensing exam, which takes place the day after graduation. In all of my "down" time, all I could think to myself was -- what am I going to do now? Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? I have to find a job. I have to move. I have to...

Sometimes we get so busy that all we do -- is do. And as those old parts of my mind started to wander back in, you know, the parts that think about stuff -- I started to get more and more scared. This is it. Things are happening. Things are actually happening.

Grey came back from Orlando, where he was competing in the FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) state competition (He won 5th in his category -- which is kinda a big deal). He told me a story that made me cry -- in the middle of the grocery store. He told me about this guy -- Alex Sheen, who spoke at the FBLA ceremony with thousands of high school kids from all over the state. Grey said that there was barely a dry eye in the place. And I can see why. Alex started the organization "because I said I would." Here's his story:

It made me think about what promises I might make at this point in my life. I'm at such a point of transition -- finishing school, Grey going to college, moving across the country, starting a new profession...

In the quiet moments, at the clinic, we talk about what life will be like when we're not around each other anymore. We've spent nearly every day together for the last three and a half years. Even when we still had breaks in between trimesters we would often text or email each other, or sometimes hang out. I'd like to make a promise to my close classmates that I won't lose touch and completely disappear, as I'm apt to do.

Things are moving forward. Even though we might not all be in the same place, I hope that we move forward together. After all, we've been together so long that we're family.

Have a great week, everyone!