I get this question all of the time: "Do you acupuncture
Yes, kind of, not really, I don't know what I'm supposed to say
exactly. Do I put needles in people? Yes, of course. Should I?
Well, that's where you've got me. Technically, I'm not a licensed
acupuncturist yet, so I take that to mean that I can't
charge people for acupuncture yet. Is it safe for me to
needle people? Well, I do have my Clean Needle Technique
certificate filed away somewhere....
Do I know what I'm doing?
Can I help someone feel better? I don't want to be a pretentious
jerk and assume the answers are "yes" here, but over the past year
I've certainly had some good feedback. As a sometimes full-time and
sometimes part-time student in the acupuncture program, I'm
somewhere around Tri 5. I've completed a large chunk of the
coursework, the whole observation phase in the clinic, and now I'm
actively practicing on everyone who schedules an appointment with
me in the AOM clinic on campus.
For the next year, I'll continue along in this internship,
enjoying the opportunity to test out treatment strategies, hone my
diagnosis skills, and figure out if "patient consents to treatment"
actually belongs in the "A" or the "P" portion of the SOAP note.
I'll do intakes; I'll form diagnostic impressions; I'll pow-wow
with Dr. Cai, Dr. Stretch, and any other clinician I can find. I'll
needle patients; I'll moxa their cold feet; and I'll do as much
moving cupping as my forearm strength permits. If you're really
special, I'll do tui na and I'll gua sha you
afterward. Want some herbs? Sure, we have raw, granules, or patent
pills. Right this way!
While the patient visits are the most important and most fun
parts of the clinic internship experience, the clinic lottery is
the part that causes the most anxiety among the interns. "Will I
get my same shifts next tri?" "Which clinician will I work under?"
"Which interns or observers will be on my shift?" All of these
panic-stricken questions and many more can be heard all over campus
right now -- the infamous Week 12 clinic sign-up and resulting
lottery has arrived!
interns get to sign up for their preferred shifts and locations for
clinic internships. We AOM students have the luxury of choosing the
on-campus Lombard Whole Health Center clinic or driving to Stroger
(Cook County Hospital) in Chicago for an off-site experience. My
45-minute commute is plenty, so I try to keep it simple and stick
to the main campus. There we all are, fluttering around the sign-up
sheet in the clinic lounge room, which is busting at the seams on a
regular day, elbowing the interns who are actually trying to sit
nicely and write SOAP notes that day.
If all goes well, there is a nice white empty slot shining and
waiting just for you on the day and time that you've decided would
be perfect for your upcoming trimester. In reality, someone else
probably agreed and already signed up for that one. In the end,
many interns are able to secure an acceptable shift and everyone
survives the sign-up week. Some lucky individuals end up in the
clinic lottery, where randomly drawn numbers allow devastated
interns to play a sort of game-show rendition of "This will be your
life next trimester."
In my two years at NUHS, we haven't lost anyone yet! The sign-up
process can be stressful for some, but by the time the next
trimester rolls around, we're all just excited to start treating
our patients and working with our clinicians to hone our skills. I
have one more year of this endearing learning process, and then
it's out into the real world for me (again). No more clinicians to
ask questions of, no more easily accessible chiropractors down the
hall to consult with on orthopedic issues (thanks, Dr. Anderson!),
and no more half-days of work! Maybe this whole clinic deal is
pretty great after all....
You've made the first move. You've called to schedule an
appointment in the AOM clinic. Just as you think you're almost done
with this first critical step, the receptionist throws a massively
important, yet completely unexpected, wrench in your plan. "Which
intern are you looking to schedule with?"
Oh. My. God. What do you do? Which name do you say off the top
of your head? As you feel the pressure mount in those two seconds
of silence on the phone, your brain quickly scans the names,
personalities, general skill levels, and specific competencies of
every student you know at NUHS.
It might not seem like a big decision to some, but for many
patients, your intern will make or break the entire appointment.
I've heard it all in the halls of the clinic, "He got a D on that
Point Location Exam, so I don't want to schedule with him!" "She's
the only one who follows up needling with tui na every
week--I want her!" "I only (or, I don't) want my best
friends seeing me with my pants down." If you're bringing sensitive
people--the elderly or young children--then even appearance might
matter. If I scheduled my kids with a super-tall bearded man, they
might run outside and hide by the swans!
If you haven't thought about which intern you will choose for
your first or next acupuncture appointment, here is a handy guide
to help weigh your options. No, I'm not going to provide a rating
list of each intern in clinic this trimester, complete with names,
pictures, and assorted blasphemies or accolades. Instead, I'm going
to walk you through the options that may or may not be important to
you in your decision-making process.
Image source: www.visualphotos.com
Now for the great part--there isn't one intern who fits every
criteria! This is wonderful news, because it means that a variety
of options exist for each patient who walks through the door. Each
patient is different, and each intern is different. If you've tried
acupuncture once, but just didn't get that great feeling, then try
again with someone else! If you were lucky and hit it out of the
park with your first intern, then stick with that person, or ask
him or her for a referral for another intern who treats in a
Good luck, and happy hunting!
When they ask you why you
came in for an appointment today, go ahead and let them know that
your urine is coming out in long, clear streams, and that your
dreams have been creepily vivid this week. Tell them that your
bowel movements are light brown, formed, and coming with ease twice
per day in forearm lengths that would make Dr. Yurasek proud.
Mention that you've been feeling kind of cold and that you can't
stand being out in the wind. That heaviness in your arms? Mention
Dive straight into the rest of Oriental Medicine's famed "Ten
Questions," noting whether you've been extra hungry, not so
thirsty, frigidly anti-sexual, exhausted from periods with
quarter-sized black clots, or muzzy-headed in the afternoons. It
all matters. If you're in an AOM clinic, these are the types of
things you can expect to be asked by your acupuncturist or
herbalist. No one here bats an eye when patients share the color
and consistency of their bowel movements. In fact, if you withhold
that information, we can't really help you very well.
Here they are, in detail but translated by me:
The Ten Questions
Your acupuncturist or herbalist not only wants to know these
things, but also actuallyneedsto know many of these things in order
to properly diagnose your condition and begin a treatment plan. If
you have long, clear streams of urine, loose stool, weak knees, a
sore lower back, and feel cold all the time...well, we know what's
going on. No, I'm not going to tell you here. Look it up. Better
yet, visit an acupuncturist!
So, if you're in an AOM clinic, have your thoughts on these
vital topics prepared beforehand. Otherwise, you might be so thrown
off guard by some of the Ten Questions that you can't formulate
sentences. That's actually fine, because none of the 10 questions
directly correlate to grammar skill level. Thank goodness, right?
However, if you find yourself in the office of an MD, keep in mind
that you might not want to just jump right in with details about
where you are in your menstrual cycle and how gassy you've been, if
your chief complaint is seasonal allergies. Just a tip, from me to
Think it's too difficult for you? I think you're wrong. File
this post away under the "if I can do it, you can do it" series.
Unfortunately, this practical how-to post is the result of someone
actually needing to use raw Chinese herbs to feel better--and that
someone is me.
Remember that whole "damp-heat
in the gall bladder" thing from a couple of weeks ago? Yep, me
too. Turns out, I still have that going on. Yes, I self-diagnosed
and self-treated in near silence. Did I say I was good at this? I'm
sorry. No. I'm a student. I know close to nothing. In my defense,
upon an actual visit to the NUHS AOM clinic to exercise my
student-access-to-free-care privilege, I learned that I nailed my
diagnosis and was only one off in my acupoints selection plan.
Ingredients for Treatment
I was indeed on my way towards getting back to normal, but not
quite there yet. No. What I needed was a boost -- a big powerful
boost in the health direction. I needed herbs from Dr. Cai. After
showing my tongue and displaying my pulsating wrists to the masses
of interns, I left the clinic with my trusty sack of Chinese herbs.
At Dr. Cai's request, I also needed to add in a slice of fresh
ginger and three red dates with each batch, which I happened to
have on hand.
Many people would peer into this bag thinking, "What the heck do
I do with this pile of roots, bark, mushrooms, berries, and other
unidentifiables? Technically, there could be geckos and cicada
shells in there...shudder. In fact I refuse to look up everything
in the formula shown on my receipt just in case therearegeckos and
cicada shells in there.... So, here it is--your pictorial
step-by-step guide to using raw Chinese herbs in a decoction. This
is the instruction sheet that goes home with the patient.
Instructions for Cooking Chinese Herbal Formula
What this is trying to say is dump one batch of the herbs into a
pot, soak it, bring it to a boil, then simmer to reduce the liquid
to a drinkable amount. Now, you'll want to find the perfect balance
between "disgusting taste" and "effective dose," and that
isnoteasy. You know you want to concentrate the liquid for potency,
but you also know that you're increasing the taste by the same
Before Cooking and After Cooking
Most herbal decoctions do not taste good. Face it. Most of us
are damp. We eat dairy and fried foods (mmmm...fried dairy), and we
end up with damp-heat. Thus, we need bitter herbs much of the time.
Who's the lucky fella who gets a simple Spleen Qi deficiency
diagnosis that results in a sweet licorice and berries formula to
take home? Not this guy!
So, I soak my bitter herbs, I boil my bitter herbs, I simmer my
bitter herbs. I drink my powerful decoction, and I go to sleep to
let my body do its thing. I wake up a little better, and I know I
have five more nights of chugging down my "bedtime tea" before my
tongue can register just how gross it really tastes.
I could avoid much of the "hard work" in this process by
requesting my herbs in granule form (like a dusty powder that you
stir in warm water to dissolve). But then I'd lose a little
potency. I could avoid all the work and the taste
by requesting a patent pill formula, but then I'd lose even more
potency. No thanks, weak sauce. I need the most full-strength
option known to man -- ancient Chinese man, specifically. I need to
decoct my raw herbs!
• So What Is Chinese Medicine?
• Jabbing Nerves with Needles
• Mission in Nicaragua
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